I hate my brain.
It makes me do its bidding. It wants a treat, it gets it through me. It has to accomplish a dirty deed, I am its medium. But what is it that I get in return? Nothing really. I get what my brain deems is success for me, an illusion to keep me content till it finds the next task to be accomplished on its grocery list.
And what if I disobey? What if I say no? What if I resist! All that I get as a reward for this diluted courage is a bunch of self-doubt, guilt, sadness, regret, heaven knows what else.
I call bullshit! This is just not fair.
But then, if my brain wants me to do something, what is it really that drives me to want to reject said order? Wouldn’t all orders me given a “thappa” by it? What is it really then that makes me want to revolt against ideas coming through my head.
Not the heart, surely. That stopped being an answer since, well, forever. I can’t think of any other part which would have the balls to go against the mighty brain’s humungous capacity to reason and think and control.
Is it then that my brain itself is in conflict? The almighty king of my body conflicted as to what should be the next course of action? Or is it that a part of my brain is going “Hmm.. What DO I really want?”
I can totally relate to that, brain-o. I feel you bro… Well I pretty much have to.. Anyways, since there is a confusion, there MUST be options, those What are they?
That, however, seems like a discussion “out of syllabus”. That’s the only answer I can come up with. I guess all I can do is hope that the bastard gets itself sorted. And tells me what ball of fur it would like me to engage myself with next time I am chil…*oh look, Food!*